Watch the signs-2

(continued from previous post...)

Angle of the body in relation to others gives an indication of our attitudes and feelings towards them. We angle toward people we find attractive, friendly and interesting and angle ourselves away from those we don't, it's that simple! Angles includes leaning in or away from people, as we often just tilt from the pelvis and lean sideways to someone to share a bit of conversation.

Hand gestures are so numerous it's hard to give a brief guide but here goes. Palms slightly up and outward is seen as open and friendly. Palm down gestures are generally seen as dominant, emphasizing and possibly aggressive, especially when there is no movement or bending between the wrist and the forearm. This palm up, palm down is very important when it comes to handshaking and where appropriate we suggest you always offer a handshake upright and vertical, which should convey equality.

Distance from others is crucial if you want to give off the right signals. Stand too close and you'll be marked as "Pushy" or "In your face". Stand or sit too far away and you'll be "Keeping your distance" or "Stand offish". Neither are what we want, so observe if in a group situation how close are all the other people to each other. Also notice if you move closer to someone and they back away, you're probably just a tiny bit too much in their personal space, their comfort zone.

Ears play a vital role in communication with others, even though general terms most people can't move them much, if at all. However, you've got two ears and only one mouth, so try to use them in that order. If you listen twice as much as you talk you come across as a good communicator who knows how to strike up a balanced a conversation without being me, me, me or the wallflower.

Mouth movements can give away all sorts of clues. We purse our lips and sometimes twist them to the side when we're thinking. Another occasion we might use this movement is to hold back an angry comment we don't wish to reveal. Nevertheless, it will probably be spotted by other people and although they may not know the comment, they will get a feeling you were not to pleased.

NOTHING CROSSED. Keep arms, legs, and feet relaxed and uncrossed. Also, if you are wearing a jacket, open it up. It relays the message... I am open and honest with you.

LEAN FORWARD. Move within 6 to 8 feet of your client. Lean slightly forward. Interested people always pay attention and lean forward. Leaning backwards demonstrates aloofness or rejection.

MIRRORING. Pay attention to your clients breathing and the pace that they are talking at. Is it fast or slow, then mirror them. If they cross their legs...slowly do the same.

DIRECT EYE CONTACT. Direct eye contact is a compliment to most people and builds trust in you. But be aware of the customs of people from other countries. It may be a sign of disrespect.

HANDSHAKE. Not too hard and not too soft. Pay attention to how you are shaking someone's hand.

Watch the signs-1

When I was browsing my e-library, this article on Body Language, which I had saved long before caught my eye. Don’t know from where I took it. Body language is an interesting aspect. Since it is long, I will split it...

Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of dealing with others, especially people we've just met. Maintaining good eye contact shows respect and interest in what they have to say. It will give them a feeling of comfort and genuine warmth in your company, any more eye contact than this and you can be too intense, any less and you give off a signal that you are lacking interest in them or their conversation

Posture is the next thing to master, get your posture right and you'll automatically start feeling better, as it makes you feel good almost instantly. Next time you notice you're feeling a bit down, take a look at how your standing or sitting. Chances are you'll be slouched over with your shoulders drooping down and inward. This collapses the chest and inhibits good breathing, which in turn can help make you feel nervous or uncomfortable.

Head position is a great one to play around with, with yourself and others. When you want to feel confident and self assured keep your head level both horizontally and vertically. You can also use this straight head position when you want to be authoritative and what you're saying to be taken seriously. Conversely, when you want to be friendly and in the listening, receptive mode, tilt your head just a little to one side or other. You can shift the tilt from left to right at different points in the conversation.

Arms give away the clues as to how open and receptive we are to everyone we meet and interact with, so keep your arms out to the side of your body or behind your back. This shows you are not scared to take on whatever comes your way and you meet things "full frontal". In general terms the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use your arms with big movements. The quieter you are the less you move your arms away from your body. So, try to strike a natural balance and keep your arm movements midway. When you want to come across in the best possible light, crossing the arms is a no, no in front of others. Obviously if someone says something that gets your goat, then by all means show your disapproval by crossing them!

Legs are the furthest point away from the brain, consequently they're the hardest bits of our bodies to consciously control. They tend move around a lot more than normal when we are nervous, stressed or being deceptive. So best to keep them as still as possible in most situations, especially at interviews or work meetings. Be careful too in the way you cross your legs. Do you cross at the knees, ankles or bring your leg up to rest on the knee of the other? This is more a question of comfort than anything else. Just be aware that the last position mentioned is known as the "Figure Four" and is generally perceived as the most defensive leg cross, especially if it happens as someone tells you something that might be of a slightly dubious nature, or moments after. (As always, look for a sequence)

(continued in next post..... )

Miscellaneous!

- There was ADSL problem and internet is provided intermittently at office...

- Tired to see blank white screen loading web page...it sucks !!!

- Its Ramadhan here and office timing is reduced from 7 am-1 pm

- Office work filled in completely in that short timings

- Had a neck sprain and my steering is locked

- All the above reduced my blog time and posts

- The new Veto (is it vivekanada training institiute?) english course ad where the maid sings an english song made me in splits

- Its cold and flu everywhere and surprisingly still I am not a victim...may be immunity increased due to frequent flu's

- Totally dejected to see the earthquake victims...prayed to god not to make this happen again. A Pakistani working as carpenter here in my brother in law's construction company just like that told that all his seven family members were dead and they recovered only half of his wife's body and his entire village is wiped out. He ran out of tears and is facing only a bare reality without knowing what to do. Agonizing situtation.....!!!

Earth quakes are terrible...scientists have told that there may be another too... Muscat is very near to Pakistan too.

obviously...My prayers have increased too!!!

Dreams...Dreams !

Paulo Coelho emphasizes mostly on dreams and how we abandon our dreams without going for it…
This great excerpt is taken from his website for you to read ….

" In 1986, I went for the first and only time on the pilgrimage known as the Way to Santiago, an experience I described in my first book. We had just finished walking up a small hill, a village appeared on the horizon, and it was then that my guide, whom I shall call Petrus (although that was not his name), said to me: "Look around and let your eyes settle on some point; then concentrate on what I shall say".

I chose the cross of a church I could see in the distance.

Petrus began: Man must never stop dreaming; dreams nourish the soul, just as food nourishes the body. Often in our existences, we see our dreams come undone and our desires frustrated, but we must continue to dream, otherwise our soul dies. Much blood has flowed on the field which lies before you, and some of the cruelest battles of the Reconquista were fought here. It does not matter who was right, or who had the truth: the important thing is that both sides were engaged in Good Combat. Good Combat is that which is fought because our heart demands it. In heroic times, the times of the wandering knights, that was easy, there was much land to conquer and much to be done. Nowadays, however, the world has changed , and Good Combat has been transported to the battlefields within ourselves.

"Good Combat is that which is fought in the name of our dreams. When they explode inside us with all their might - in youth - we have plenty of courage, but haven't yet learned to fight. After much effort, we eventually learn to fight, and by then no longer have the same courage to enter combat. Because of this, we turn against and fight our own selves, and become our own worst enemy. We say our dreams were childish, difficult to carry out, or the fruit of our ignorance of life's realities. We kill our dreams because we are afraid of engaging in Good Combat.

"The first symptom that we are killing our dreams is the lack of time. The busiest people I have met in my lifetime always had time for everything. Those who did nothing were always tired, couldn't cope with the little work they had to do, and complained that the days were too short: in reality, they were scared to engage in Good Combat. The second symptom of the death of our dreams are our certainties. Because we do not wish to accept life as a great adventure to be lived, we start to see ourselves as wise, just and correct in the little we demand of our existence. We look beyond the battlements of our everyday lives, hear the sound of clashing lances, smell the sweat and gunpowder, the great falls and warriors' thirsty glare of victory. But we never notice the joy, the immense Joy dwelling in the hearts of those who fight, because they do not care about victory nor defeat, the important thing is to engage in Good Combat. Finally, the third symptom of the death of our dreams is Peace. Life becomes a Sunday afternoon, with no great demands, certainly nothing greater than we are willing to give. And so we think we are mature, having left behind childish fantasies, and having achieved personal and professional success. But in truth, in our innermost heart, we know that what happened was that we renounced the fight for our dreams, ceased to engage in Good Combat.

When we renounce our dreams and find peace, we encounter a short period of tranquility. But the dead dreams start to rot inside us, and infest every part of our lives. We start to become cruel to those around us, and in the end we turn this cruelty upon ourselves. Illnesses and psychoses emerge. That which we sought to avoid in combat - deception and defeat - becomes the only legacy of our cowardice. And one fine day, the dead, rotten dreams make the air difficult to breathe and we begin to long for death, which delivers us from our certainties, from our preoccupations, and from that terrible Sunday afternoon peace."

Better to take a print out and keep it...

Blogophobia !!!

Sujatha madam has got this Blogophobia (christined by me!!). That looks like a new disease…. Let's see it in her own words

“ afraid that one day you will wake up and find that you cannot access your blog and that everything you've written on your blog is lost forever?Or is it just me?”

So what will you do if all the blogs that you have written is lost forever…all your time spent writing your lines …all your effort to make the blog appear good….editing templates, posting photos…. what that had your stamp is gone … will you whine or just pass it away?

I had saved all my posts separately…but still losing the blog will scuff your heart even if you pretend to be don’t care… just like a lost dairy !

Thinking little further… if you die today, what will happen to your blog ? Who is going to tell those regular readers that the guy who writes this blog is dead and don’t come back again? What does your blog mean then? Your bog will become a minuscule space of the entire web world, fading in bytes…just like your existence…world will move on !…

Prasanna also posted once that there is great scope for Crichton on the idea of what will happen if all the storage media in the whole goes out blank … we always hear in our life"What will happen if...."

So the 'if’s' are always there…its only matter of optimism to make you live the life at hand. For time being…lets be positive and continue to blog with all fervor in the world!

P.S: I recommend Sujatha’s blog to everyone….interesting right from her profile, where she tells that she left to U.S as a student and came back with a family of her own!....Also don’t forget to read her childhood weekends…it was good and …guess what?…...I ENVIED her!